ABOUT TOASTERS....

About toasters and the false economy of buying a cheap one. Our first toaster was a wedding present. It was a nice two-slice toaster and it did its job for five decades. One morning, about a year ago, it just stopped working. We bought another one. A four-slice, wide slot to accommodate English muffins number with a roaster oven. It never toasted two slices of bread the same color. Roasting in it was a joke, but it was sure pretty. It has a special spot on a shelf in the garage We decided to just pick up the first toaster we saw and make it work. Famous last words. The first toaster I saw in JC Penny's was a wonder of modern technology. It had a four slice toaster oven that can hold a 9-inch pizza, a non-stick griddle on top of the roaster, and a four-cup coffee maker on the side! WOW! All this for the mere price of $100.00. No way, Mister Sweetie Skinflint said, I'm paying a hundred dollars for a toaster. Um, I said, okay. He picked up a seven dollar wonder at WalMart. It has, religiously, consistently, at the same and all settings, turned every slice of bread that went into it an even crispy ebony while filling the entire house with the smell of burnt toast. Um, I said, okay. After burning six slices of bread this morning, Mister Sweetie gave up, disconnected the wailing smoke detector, put it outside, and ran around the house in an absolute panic waving a magazine at the smoke. I opened the back door, put the box fan on a chair in front of it and turned it on to exhaust the smoke. I dry toasted the bread in a skillet, buttered it and stacked it nicely on a plate Now, don't get me wrong here, Mister Sweetie is about as easy-going as they get, and one heckuva good cook, but if something starts to smoke....well.... So, we're sitting in the TV room, watching "The Age of Adeline" when I suggested that I pick out the next toaster We usually do this kind of thing as a committee. I "research", he pays. Lickety split my nimble little fingers typed me Amazon and there to my delight under small appliances sat the wonder of wonders I'd coveted three months ago, on sale at the budget-lovely price of $39.00. I'll be doing some more retail therapy tomorrow. The seven dollar wonder Mister Sweetie picked up? The good folks at Waste Management have accepted it as a donation to the cause.